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  <title>Musings</title>
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  <description>Musings - LiveJournal.com</description>
  <lastBuildDate>Fri, 24 Oct 2008 19:19:20 GMT</lastBuildDate>
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    <title>Musings</title>
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  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://austen1775.livejournal.com/1553.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Fri, 24 Oct 2008 19:19:20 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>WHAT I&apos;M LOOKING FOR</title>
  <link>http://austen1775.livejournal.com/1553.html</link>
  <description>&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0in 0in 10pt&quot;&gt;&lt;u&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: medium&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Calibri&quot;&gt;Chapter 1&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/u&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0in 0in 10pt&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: medium&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Calibri&quot;&gt;While nearing the SeaTac International, I pondered how I had come to this; &lt;i&gt;this&lt;/i&gt; meaning going home to my father, to Forks for vacation.&amp;nbsp;The last time I was home was eight years ago for two weeks during spring recess.&amp;nbsp;I made a resolution during those two weeks that changed my life.&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; I wondered if I would make another life-changing decision this time.&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0in 0in 10pt&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: medium&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Calibri&quot;&gt;I knew something was amiss when Mike Gomez, my boss and the COO and President of the company I work for, knocked on my office door two weeks ago.&amp;nbsp;He rarely came to my office and when he did it usually meant there were problems.&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0in 0in 10pt&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: medium&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Calibri&quot;&gt;&amp;ldquo;Isabella, may I talk to you?&amp;rdquo; &lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0in 0in 10pt&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: medium&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Calibri&quot;&gt;Only Mike could get away with calling me my full name for the reason since I shared it with his late mother.&amp;nbsp;Mike or Miguel Gomez was of Filipino descent and family oriented.&amp;nbsp;He said he hired me not only because of my academic credentials but also because I reminded him of his daughter.&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; He groomed me to rise through the ranks and to become part of management.&amp;nbsp;In no time I became a Junior Vice President and member of his management committee.&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; I had even spent a few Christmases and Thanksgivings with his family.&amp;nbsp;I was also a common fixture in many Gomez family gatherings.&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0in 0in 10pt&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: medium&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Calibri&quot;&gt;&amp;ldquo;Yes, Mike, what can I do for you?&amp;rdquo;&amp;nbsp;I was a bit wary as I had a vague idea for his call.&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0in 0in 10pt&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: medium&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Calibri&quot;&gt;&amp;ldquo;Isabella, I am very concerned with your health.&amp;nbsp;I just found out that what happened this morning was not a first.&amp;rdquo;&amp;nbsp;I had fainted during that morning&amp;rsquo;s management meeting while giving a presentation. &lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0in 0in 10pt&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: medium&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Calibri&quot;&gt;&amp;ldquo;Yes, I passed out during my staff meeting last Friday.&amp;nbsp;Look, I&amp;rsquo;m ok; I&amp;rsquo;m feeling better.&amp;nbsp;I just stayed up late last night and missed breakfast.&amp;nbsp;I&amp;rsquo;ll just have a big meal later and sleep it off tonight. Tomorrow I&amp;rsquo;ll be back to normal.&amp;rdquo; &amp;nbsp;I smiled to try to appease him. &lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0in 0in 10pt&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: medium&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Calibri&quot;&gt;&amp;ldquo;I don&amp;rsquo;t think you get enough sleep at all and it looks like you lost some wait.&amp;nbsp;Have you been eating well?&amp;rdquo;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0in 0in 10pt&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: medium&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Calibri&quot;&gt;&amp;ldquo;Yeah, I eat enough and I sleep enough.&amp;rdquo;&amp;nbsp;I lied.&amp;nbsp;I hadn&amp;rsquo;t been sleeping well for the past three months.&amp;nbsp;I had only two to three hours of sleep a day.&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;My appetite was also a bit off.&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0in 0in 10pt&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: medium&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Calibri&quot;&gt;&amp;ldquo;Isabella, I just looked at the security logbooks.&amp;nbsp;There are many days when you were the last to leave and the first to arrive early.&amp;nbsp;I even saw a couple of days when you clocked out past midnight.&amp;rdquo;&amp;nbsp;I felt like a teenager who came home past her curfew. &amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;I had to stop myself from biting my lip and my nails.&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0in 0in 10pt&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: medium&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Calibri&quot;&gt;&amp;ldquo;So what have you been doing during those times?&amp;rdquo;&amp;nbsp;I saw the concern on his face.&amp;nbsp;Mike is the New York version of my dad, Charlie.&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0in 0in 10pt&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: medium&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Calibri&quot;&gt;&amp;ldquo;I&amp;rsquo;ve been keeping tabs on our overseas divisions; time difference, you know?&amp;rdquo;&amp;nbsp;Our Asia offices have not been doing well.&amp;nbsp;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0in 0in 10pt&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: medium&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Calibri&quot;&gt;&amp;ldquo;You let them adjust to your time.&amp;nbsp;Call them when it is convenient to you and not the other way around.&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; You can&amp;rsquo;t go on working like that.&amp;nbsp;Look what happened this morning.&amp;rdquo;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0in 0in 10pt&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: medium&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Calibri&quot;&gt;&amp;ldquo;Ok. &amp;nbsp;Sure.&amp;nbsp;I&amp;rsquo;ll do that.&amp;rdquo;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0in 0in 10pt&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: medium&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Calibri&quot;&gt;&amp;ldquo;So the reason I&amp;rsquo;m here is&amp;hellip;Umm.&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;I recommend that you go on vacation.&amp;nbsp;You need rest, Isabella.&amp;rdquo;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0in 0in 10pt&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: medium&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Calibri&quot;&gt;&amp;ldquo;Ok.&amp;nbsp;I&amp;rsquo;ll take the day off tomorrow.&amp;rdquo;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0in 0in 10pt&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: medium&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Calibri&quot;&gt;&amp;ldquo;No.&amp;nbsp;You misunderstood me.&amp;nbsp;I urged that you take your vacation not just a day off.&amp;rdquo;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0in 0in 10pt&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: medium&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Calibri&quot;&gt;&amp;ldquo;I&amp;rsquo;ll take a three-day leave and when I get back I&amp;rsquo;ll be rested and refreshed.&amp;nbsp;Is that alright Mike?&amp;rdquo;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0in 0in 10pt&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: medium&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Calibri&quot;&gt;&amp;ldquo;Bella, what I meant was a full blown vacation.&amp;nbsp;You have not used any of your vacation credits since you started working here.&amp;nbsp;This is actually a management decision.&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; Simon decided to offer you a three month paid vacation.&amp;rdquo;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;Mike only called me Bella only when he was in &amp;lsquo;boss mode&amp;rsquo;.&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; And when Simon Golding, the CEO&amp;rsquo;s name came up, I knew this was not a just suggestion but an order.&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; I understood that I had to abide by their decision and go on a break.&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0in 0in 10pt&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: medium&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Calibri&quot;&gt;&amp;ldquo;Your leave starts January 1.&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; Travel and accommodations will be charged to the company.&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; I&amp;rsquo;ve informed Pamela of the arrangements so all you need to do is to decide where you want to go.&amp;rdquo;&amp;nbsp;I just nodded but it hadn&amp;rsquo;t yet sunk in.&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; I had two weeks left.&amp;nbsp;Different thoughts flashed in my mind.&amp;nbsp;Was I being let go?&amp;nbsp;What would I do on when I&amp;rsquo;m on leave?&amp;nbsp;What would happen to my department?&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; Would I survive outside my office?&amp;nbsp;Where was I going?&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0in 0in 10pt&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: medium&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Calibri&quot;&gt;Mike looked at me and saw the panic on my face.&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;He knew that my work was my life.&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; He knew I had virtually no social life and I was content when working.&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0in 0in 10pt&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: medium&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Calibri&quot;&gt;&amp;ldquo;You know that we value you and your work.&amp;nbsp;You are integral to the success of this business.&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; We just can&amp;rsquo;t allow you to compromise your health for work.&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;Your position will remain yours.&amp;nbsp;Isabella, you are not being fired.&amp;nbsp;Do you understand?&amp;rdquo;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0in 0in 10pt&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: medium&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Calibri&quot;&gt;&amp;ldquo;Yes.&amp;nbsp;Thanks Mike.&amp;rdquo;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; He patted my back before he left.&amp;nbsp;I understood he and Simon had my best interest at heart.&amp;nbsp;They had always been supportive from the beginning.&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0in 0in 10pt&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: medium&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Calibri&quot;&gt;&amp;ldquo;Simon became worried when he noticed that you were a bit pale and seemed to have lost weight.&amp;nbsp;He panicked when you collapsed during the meeting.&amp;nbsp;You are like a daughter to him.&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; You are like family to me, too.&amp;nbsp;I know how attached you are to your work.&amp;nbsp;But what is all you hard work for Isabella?&amp;rdquo;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0in 0in 10pt&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: medium&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Calibri&quot;&gt;I thought about what Mike had asked me but I couldn&amp;rsquo;t come up with an answer.&amp;nbsp;I didn&amp;rsquo;t know why I was so driven.&amp;nbsp;I would like to think that I work hard for my parents but they were both set for life.&amp;nbsp;While they were far from rich, they had everything they need and more even after retirement.&amp;nbsp;I couldn&amp;rsquo;t say I work hard for my family since I was without one, not even a boyfriend.&amp;nbsp;I had been pretty much alone and self-sufficient since I graduated from college.&amp;nbsp;I had even paid all my loans including my sizable study loans.&amp;nbsp;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0in 0in 10pt&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: medium&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Calibri&quot;&gt;Having found no answer to that question, I deliberated on where I would go for my vacation.&amp;nbsp;Three months is a long time for me to be far from work.&amp;nbsp;I considered going far &amp;ndash; to Asia or Europe? &amp;nbsp;I might as well enjoy an all-expense-paid holiday.&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;Then I thought of staying in my apartment so I could go to the office at moment&amp;rsquo;s notice should they need me.&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;Finally I found a compromise and made a decision.&amp;nbsp;I would go home to my father whom I had not seen in several years.&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: medium&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;</description>
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  <category>fanfiction</category>
  <lj:mood>sleepy</lj:mood>
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  <pubDate>Fri, 24 Oct 2008 19:15:15 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>WHAT I&apos;M LOOKING FOR  Prologue</title>
  <link>http://austen1775.livejournal.com/1288.html</link>
  <description>&lt;strong&gt;This is my first foray into fanfiction.&amp;nbsp; I welcome all comments.&lt;br /&gt;Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.&amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp; &lt;br /&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0in 0in 10pt&quot;&gt;&lt;u&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: medium&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Calibri&quot;&gt;Prologue&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/u&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0in 0in 10pt&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: medium&quot;&gt;&lt;span&gt;&lt;span&gt;&lt;span&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Calibri&quot;&gt;Since my second year in college, I had never been in this situation.&amp;nbsp;I had set my course early on and eliminated deviations.&amp;nbsp;I had decided on what I wanted to be at my current age and I was almost there. But then I found myself at a proverbial fork on the road.&amp;nbsp;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0in 0in 10pt&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: medium&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Calibri&quot;&gt;One decision that was made for me, another spur-of-the-moment decision I made led me to this situation.&amp;nbsp;I had to decide which way to go.&amp;nbsp;One path would allow to me to continue the course I had set early on and to achieve my goal.&amp;nbsp;Another would require that I deviate from my course but would allow me to realize my dream.&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; Which one should I choose? Did I want to be content or happy?&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</description>
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  <category>fanfiction</category>
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  <pubDate>Wed, 08 Oct 2008 06:37:28 GMT</pubDate>
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  <pubDate>Wed, 08 Oct 2008 06:35:44 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Twilight Widget</title>
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  <pubDate>Wed, 08 Oct 2008 06:31:32 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Twilight Widget</title>
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